Hi and welcome healthy choices
eventually I had to accept no amount of 'time off' was going to fix me or allow me to go back to drinking in some kind of normal way.
I don't drink normally and I never did. I drank to get fall down drunk,
Accepting that helped turn my focus from thinking in terms of a temporary break to a permanent change.
this community gave me a lot of support in that process and re reading my posts & others helped me remember that things were really 'that bad'.
SR helped me - I know we can help you too
D