kaily, just what ARE you WILLING to do? you shoot down just about every suggestion and idea, you claim that you don't get the help you need - altho you have a counselor and are attending meetings.
at some point YOU are going to have to QUIT DRINKING. there's no two ways around it. and until you become willing to DO that, on a daily basis, you will continue to find more excuses to drink yourself to death.
there is no magic cure. we aren't keeping it a secret. you make the decision to NOT drink NO MATTER WHAT and then you do that every minute of every day. PERIOD.