Johno1967

Yes that's the way I think it is for most alcoholics, we take everything including emotions to the extreme. We become a whirlwind in people's lives and at the best of times we barely have control of our emotions.

I was like that. These days I don't try to suppress my emotions, I still feel fear, anger, resentment and sadness and get anxious or depressed. That's normal, that's human and in most cases the appropriate internal response to whats happening in our lives. The trick is what to do with those emotions. While emotions like anger or frustration may come without my permission, my response to that emotional trigger is my choice. I can choose how to respond in the lag between stimuli and reaction. I can respond mindfully, in control and calm or I can "fly off the handle" like I used to.

"How do you bring that back to a happy medium?"

With practice, after several years I can observe my emotions that well in the pit of my gut with a fair degree of equanimity. I can embrace that emotion and let it go and give myself time to decide how to respond if I respond at all. Give yourself a break, be gentle on yourself and accept emotions as part of being the human you are.

I meditate daily, I also keep a daily journal in the tradition of the Stoics, I practice spot awareness/mindfulness by scanning myself helps (ask "what am I thinking /feeling right now"), imagine yourself being an external observer of your thoughts and emotions. You will soon see that most fears are "false evidence appearing real" and you will laugh at emotional overreactions to things that barely matter.

I don't think life is meant to be all roses, consider that every good quality about yourself is in someway thanks to the hard times you came through.
"Life happens for us, not to us"