Well, once again, call me Little Miss Pollyanna...
This went on w/XAH too, but until this moment it didn't dawn on me. There were several years where I was running a lot, training for marathons and such, and he'd always make sure I took the phone w/me and wanted me to call when I was getting close to home again. And yes, he'd ask me to let him know when I'd be back from this or that, all the sort of thing you guys mentioned above.
I don't know, there may have been some genuine concern mixed in there, and I'm sure if I asked him, that is what he'd claim it was.
Either way, thanks for the eye-opener here. Kind of like how I used to wonder why he would wait until the very last moment before paying bills--I'd be like "we have the money in the bank, why don't we just write the checks as soon as the bills come in and not have to worry about the due date?" Just recently, I figured out that it was b/c we did NOT have the money in the bank, but only HE knew that (since he was manipulating the finances), and hence a variety of reasons/excuses for not paying the bills until the last possible day.