Eauchiche.....another thought---since there is enough tension in the family of adults to warrant estrangement....perhaps the niece doesn't have the freedom to invite you to festivities, on her own.
A gift is a gift...and it should come from love and respect for another....
Beleive this---when they are adults...decades from now...they will remember you for what you have done for them.....and, it may be a factor in their own generosity with their own nieces and nephews....
This is how things can become generational....
Love, kindness, generosity and compassion gets passed on....
Rigid rules and tit-for-tat attitudes get passed on, also.....
I certainly do....
In particular, I remember....My Aunt Juanita, when I was in the forth grade 9yrs. old, came to our house with gifts for everyone. We had never exchanged gifts with extended family, as a tradition. I am certain that neither my mother or my stepfather had ever sent a thank you card in their lives.
she gave me a pair of expensive mittens of real red leather and white rabbit fur ..and a green hat with fur trim...and a matching purse (my first purse!).
I felt like a queen, wearing those things to school!! they were my most prized posessions. I cherished them for years. Every time I think of my l ate Aunt Junita, I get teary-eyed, remembering her generosity to me.
Now, I know that she did not hold resentment or bitterness toward me that I didn't send a thank-you card. She was always warm and smiling whenever I saw her....
As an adult...I follow Emily Post more closely...lol///but, I was just a child, then.....