Hello,
I'm glad you went to a meeting. Do you still have alcohol in your house? If so, get rid of it.
What helped me was finally saying enough. I got sick of alternating between periods of sobriety and failed attempts at moderation. I was sick of waking up fuzzy headed, sick of dragging to get through the day, and knowing that I might have been productive, but was in no way living up to my full potential. I got sick of being a good enough mom, wife, friend, employee, person, and wanted to be my best me in each if those circumstances. I took alcohol completely off the table.
In the beginning i needed to plan out my evenings: long walk, actitives with kids, bubble bath, reading, journaling, home project, Netflix series, time posting on SR. I needed to keep myself busy. Gradually those things just became part of my daily routine and I stopped obsessing about drinking. The physical want went away pretty quickly, the mental took a little longer.
I am now one year, and almost one month sober, and it is rare when I think about drinking. However, I still read and post here daily, and do other things that are part of my recovery, because they are good for making me a better me.
You can do this. I promise it is worth it!
❤️Delilah