Yep- not drinking. Just because I stopped drinking did not mean the sober fairy granted me life long happiness and all things good. The rewards- that means doing stuff when I hate doing it. I wash out toilets, empty stinking bins of rotting food- I do it because I have to make the effort with every thing. If I do not like it- I try harder. If I hate it more- I try even harder. A drunk, crazy mixed up mess that I was with out alcohol leaves a sober mixed up crazy mess. That needs work too.
Keep going to meetings. Keep posting. Keep trying.
Prayers to you. PJ