From a fellow "hopeless failure" with OCD and generalized anxiety: Hang in there. No matter how bad you feel, you are not a total mess, you just feel that way. From what I read you have been successful in being sober a couple days.
As they say, the hour before dawn is always the darkest. Hang in there and you will sooner than later see the light. I'm lost as well, so I have no practical advise. But I offer you my best wishes.