The conundrum is that no matter what happens the two of you are the parents of your child. That fact will not change. The two of you are in the very early stages of recovery and the wounds are still fresh and wide open. Of course, there is going to be fear on your part. Absolutely normal. There is much work to do on both of your parts and not just to stay together but to co-parent your child. It didn't take overnight to get to where you are and it isn't going to right itself overnight either. It takes time. Peace can be found in true forgiveness even if you stay or leave. At this point in recovery (both of you) you have a ton of individual work to do to heal. In many ways, the alcoholics recovery is much easier as we quit drinking, acquire tools to deal with life without medicating ourselves and move forward by loving ourselves. It's very easy to forget the wake of destruction we created. In my case, while I was drinking we never really talked but do now. There are times I can read her and her resentment is high and I tread lightly by reflecting on the fact I created this situation. Others times she opens up and we go deep into discussing our addiction journey. She doesn't want to divorce and I don't either but I have to show her the same amount of patience she showed me all of those years I was going to bed at 9:30 pm because I needed my fix. I've accepted that I'm different, she's different but we built a life together and I want the best version of me to be there for her for a long, long time. We've been together for 30 years and if it takes years to fix, I'm in for the long haul. If she decides, she can't do it and is better off on her own, it's another thing I have to accept as a part of my journey.