My advice. Keep trying. I had many day 19s. I think every day sober helps you. In the end it still boils down to, stay sober today. Don't drink for the next hour. I say this, and I've been sober for almost 15 months. Some days the only priority is to not drink. And you might feel like your life is stalled, but by accomplishing that one thing you're moving forward. You can do this, and you deserve sobriety.