Alcohol for these past 6 months has been to numb the pain from loosing a father. I just realised today 28th is exactly 6 months since we talked. I was at the national championships, it was live broadcasted and he was watching. I was 5th overall which was amazing considering my experience. The last thing he ever told me was that I did very well, he was very happy and the next day... I miss him so much <3 I so wanted to be like him, I tried extra hard to make him proud. He always used to tell me to do less, my days were very busy. Well... now I'm barely getting even the important things done. During the times I have felt the worst even a small sip brings calmness. Nevertheless I made a promise and I'm on day 4, not able to sleep and crying my eyes out.