Originally Posted by
mangoman 
Why does it feel like I'm trying to play trickery with another version of myself? I wake up as the good me, but the other me takes over around 4.
We've all been there...and it does feel like we're helplessly watching as someone hijacks our bodies. I believe that there's some truth to it, that addiction is on such a primal, survival level of our brains that it overrides all of our higher level mental processes.
For me, being a pragmatic type, it really helped to research how alcohol affects our biochemistry and exactly how it takes over the neurotransmitters on a molecular level. There are so many layers of morality and emotions and societal influences on top of alcoholism that for me, understanding that addiction is at its core a biochemical process really helps. We're not weak and evil...our brain cells are maladapted and the cure for that part is to stop ingesting alcohol.
You can do this.