It may be outdated - the writers could not of course have known stuff they didn't know! But the fact is that it would appear that once we have developed an addiction to alcohol it is more or less impossible for us to drink 'normally' . We have developed an intolerance - an allergy if you like.
The point is, as far as we are concerned it isn't safe to drink.
AA *is* old fashioned and there is stuff in there that feels it. The language in the big book often seems sexist to me for example. But it is of its time.
The programme works for an awful lot of people though. If you do have another go at AA you might want to think about how it works for those who clearly have benefited from it.
I sound like an old timer. I'm not. I've only been sober 15 days. But I made a deliberate decision to return to AA after having similar doubts to yours mainly because I could see people I liked and admired there who made it work for them..and for me at any rate it is the only game in town if I want to stay sober.