Thank you all again. I did see a therapist last weekl but I didn't like her much. She seemed disinterested and her office was dirty. Despite this, it felt good saying things aloud. I don't really have any friends to talk to. My boyfriend was also my best and only friend. I will call someone else and set up an appointment today.
It was not a suicide...it was an accident. He was with a friend who also overdosed. I'm upset that he did something so stupid. He was a smart man but alcohol made him very stupid and reckless.
Thank you, although I'm not Christian , I do believe he is with me sometimes. It is comforting in some ways and frustrating in others. I've been talking to him aloud begging him to show me a sign but there's been nothing.