how do you know what is obsession and what is normal? i am sad about my husband leaving 5 months ago because he was in love with another woman and wanting a divorce. she broke up with him, and now he is lonely and wants sex, but is clear that he doesn't know what he wants, and doesn't NOT want to get back together- can't say either way-- well, am i obsessed for thinking about it/having a hard time getting over it? sometimes i worry that if you say something, you make it true. i don't think it's sick to grieve something- but i guess it's not good to have gottten myself in the position where this happened/that someone treated me crappy for so long and i was so desperate to be loved that i didn't say no, i'm not accepting that. i still feel like i need to say it-- because i do feel that if he really wanted to bother with me, he'd say he wanted to work on it, not "who can say?" it's just hard that all the alkie/alanon stuff is mixed in- arrgh. i do feel like a sick crazy lady now that i think about it. i hate feeling so sad- i hate saying goodbye, and like seeing him, and so when he calls, i take the call- i make him dinner and all of that- i need to rethink my actions.