Originally Posted by
heartcore 
This is my exact contradiction/challenge. My profession is as a mediator & negotiator. My value professionally is in neutrality & the ability to hold calm competence in any (& every) crisis. I am trained to do so.
Then, in my personal & recovery life, it is that exact strength & capacity which prevents me from asking for (or even without asking, soliciting) support.
I haven't yet figured out how to hold competence as a value in one major aspect/identity & relax it in the other...
In that case, would becoming very open about your own issues and emotional fluctuations be beneficial in your professional life? Wouldn't that get in the way of performing your work in a satisfactory manner? I imagine that diplomacy is an important element of your job and your ability and skills regarding this element probably make you a competent person to fill that role. Maybe like with me, being a scientist and mentor: I think it would do no good to anyone if I started to infuse my daily work and perceptions with all sorts of subjective preoccupations and emotions. It would affect the results and in turn, my sense of competency.
I think the thing to do is to separate and compartmentalize different areas of life. There is room for many different kinds of attitudes and parts of our identity, they don't need to be all encompassing. Ex: I really would not want or attempt to be as personal at work as I like to be with friends or with my therapist. I do like to share some of my experiences because it can help to establish connections better, but the focus is not on me and especially not on my issues when I work.
I don't think that professionalism and vulnerability are mutually exclusive. In fact, I always feel that the best leaders are not the ones that try to transmit charisma and power, but those that are capable of humility and looking also inside for answers without infusing their environment with their egos excessively. Focus on work-related competency and improvements when at work and relax in the personal sphere.
I think that the best strategies also depend highly on the nature of work one is doing. Some professions do not only allow a lot of personal vulnerability and expression but it's a bonus if not essential. Others require a more objective stance. I don't think that those who occupy the second niche should be considered less authentic, they are just as true to the nature of what they are doing.
I do often find it hard to switch between these areas of life, unwind and relax in healthy ways. What helps probably more than anything is separating my professional and private spheres as much as possible. This was not necessary so much when I was younger and in positions where people naturally mix and match work and friendships but beyond a certain stage it's not feasible anymore. Only one reason why it's so important to find other sources of support and personal connections.