Amp, I sorry business is challenging and that you have to downsize. That must be an incredibly difficult conversation to have to have with someone. I have had to let people go, but it is usually for direct violations of company rules like stealing or attendance issues. It is still unpleasant even when it is deserved.
Sometimes I still miss that instant switch off that alcohol provided.At times, I still will go to bed with my mind racing. Usually though, I wake up in the morning feeling a little better and very happy that I did not drink the night before. Waking up in the morning just feeling tired is way better than waking up tired and hung over.
I think that not being able to visualize your future self now is to be expected. Whether we realize it or not, we are still evolving and changing pretty dramatically still, well into our second years of sobriety. Most of us drank hard for many decades, so it would seem natural that it will take more than a little while to discover who we really are as people with our brains not addled with intoxicants. Like so many things in life, it just takes some time.
Have a great day all!