Sinderos I think all of us have played the what if game.
You have hundreds of examples here of people who's lives became immeasurably better when they quit.
I understand your fear, but it's not such a wild leap into the unknown when so many of us have been there before and triumphed.
It means massive change - but that change is worth the effort many many times over
I really hope you decide to give recovery a try.
D