I did not drink- I PLANNED first to drink. Drink before going out drinking. I put nearly as much effort into pretending not to drink as I did in drinking. It became an obsession. The behaviour alone- so different than normal- to look normal, who does that? Addictive personalities do that. Some do it with food, sex, gambling, drugs, hoarding.. So a 2 edged sword- I drank, which obviously has negative physical and emotional consequence. The behaviour also- breaching personal moral standards, ling- cheating, stealing, being secretive and convincing myself the only crime was being caught. I also thought that I got away with it- the mouth wash btw- does not work. Apart from anything else- why does a person suddenly smell like mouth wash? A dead give a way for me.