I'm just going to throw this out there. I was crazy as a june bug at 5 months of sobriety. I had no idea who I really was. A big mix of emotions, anxiety, brain fog, etc... I was also married and pretty obsessed with wanting to know which direction that would go. Someone told me to just focus on myself for awhile and that was the best advice I got. I took all that energy and put it into myself and my recovery. Perhaps you could as well?