hey Wells!
Couple of things. First, I don't think you are over it yet. You are still putting "some" energy (any is too much) in thoughts of what you wish for her, or what you think she should or shouldn't be doing (dating again). No one can say what she is doing or whether she should or shouldn't be but her.
Sometimes when people break up the emotional ties remain, and for some that is longer than others. Its just who we are individually as people. Some people will immediately seek the company of others so they don't have to feel the pain. Some people wait for months or years. Its an individual thing - but for having been with her for 10 years I do understand.
It takes a lot to unravel the "identity". That to me is what it very hard. You identified as a couple for a very long time, and you obviously loved this woman a lot.
I dragged it out hoping she'd find recovery and we'd have some weird chance down the road.
IME the above is why you have been "stuck". I think your Ex saw much more so than you that this relationship wasn't going to fly because she was NOT going to quit drinking. For as many go rounds as you all had she finally reached the end of your rope and there were no more chances. She knew it.
You, however, would have given it another chance if she had gotten sober and in recovery. You simply weren't on the same page.
Sometimes we just need to accept that people we have chosen aren't good fits for us, nor us to them. It doesn't have to be about alcohol. Sometimes a relationship becomes so toxic and the interactions of the 2 people involved there simply is NO changing it.
I think you will find now that she has moved on you will finally get rid of the lurking cobwebs of possible reconciliation that have remained since break up. Hoping that you will.