I can only speak from my own experience but once I got sober the healing for both us began. The human brain is a complex piece of hardware and we seem to want to overthink everything at times and it can cause a ton of questions and resentment. I think at its core, it really is a timing issue. When an alcoholic gets sober and begins recovery, we want everyone to just draw a line in the sand and mover forward like the wake of our destruction didn't happen. But, it did. We want everyone to look at us as healed, better, and we can't understand why our spouses and loved ones can't just move forward right now. Alcoholics want everything right away and we want to feel better right away. The disconnect is that alcoholics and the loved ones we hurt heal at different speeds and without patience and acceptance on the alcoholics that the reality we created for our loved ones is still there and there is real fear and a lack of trust, it is easy fir birth sides of this addiction journey to want to jump right into a new relationship or new job or new city and get on with living a new life. It's just not that simple and for me it has bee ndifficult to be the brand new bicycle that no one wants to ride yet but I have to patient if I want to make a real life with my loved ones. I haven't had real human touch in nine months and I miss that void. However, I have to be as patient with my loved ones as they were with me when I was in my active using days. I need to slow my roll and just keep showing my loved ones that my best apology is my commitment to my recovery and pray that eventually they will want to hop on board and take the ride with me. It took a while to break. It will take awhile to mend and it may never be fully healed.