Joy,
I seem to be in ranting mode this evening so please allow me to continue. It is absolutley ok for you to say no drinking while she lives with you. None! Drinking, after all has caused many of her problems. I just had my own son at home for 3 months following rehab...and I don't altogether regret doing it but it set me up for the heartache involved in having to ask him to leave again.
When he moved in I told him up front that I am happy to help this time but if you lie or use drugs or alcohol my demeanor will change. He knew that going in. And when my demeanor did change because of his use he was shocked...
I have been in recovery for nearly 10 years and it took every tool in my toolbelt, plus borrowing from my friends here to get through it. Our children are a crafty bunch and the will use whatever it take to get their way.
Now since it seems as tho you have decided to do this I would make the requirements clear but I would resist becoming the daughter police. She knows what is expected and is up to her to meet those requirements. Also I would accept NO disrespect. I have been told and I put into practice walking away from disrespect. "We will talk later when you are in a better mood" is what I said to my son. The final blow for me was not calling and staying out all night. You seem to think she can drink away from home...I don't agree, but that is your call...if she is staying out she needs to call. Again respect. And she needs to help at home...clean and do her own laundry etc.
The bottom line is that it is your home and you are doing her a favor...if she starts to forget that I would not hesitate to remind her.
Hugs,
JT
I JUST came out of that situation...my son has been gone for a couple weeks...it is all still so fresh. I apologize if I frightened you with my enthusiasum.
