Lbg322

Hey everyone...

I've only posted once and have learned a lot just from reading. I had a lot of red flags from my ex and I was/still am very naive/uninformed about addicts and their behavior.

In the advice given, I took a step back and detached...or I tried? The saw my ex once around town and he was out of it. I was cordial and wished him the best. He contacted me before thanksgiving and told me how he is struggling with his use. He wanted to prove he was a man of his word and wanted to make things up for the horrific way he treated me. He bought me football tickets. He gave them to me in good measure. The game came around, haven't talked to him since the tickets and waited to see if I would hear from him. I looked him up on Facebook and he was with someone else and l let him be. I went to the game and haven't heard from him...until this past Friday night.
I woke up at 1 am from a call from him. I told him he had 10 mins because I had a race in the morning but asked if he was safe. He said he was. He told me he was in rehab for 60 days and spent the holidays alone. He said he got out 2 days ago and just wanted to call me to say sorry/hear my voice. He wanted to tell me he missed me and that I didn't deserve what he did to me. He said he hit rock bottom and has no one and that he understands what he did to me. I was very stern with him and asked what he wanted and he just said he wanted to make amends. He sounded so sad and sober(I think). I tried to lighten the mood, so I talked about the game/current football news and he said his use got out of hand/tried to figure out his life. (Side note: his timeline isn't adding up to exactly 60 days of the last time I heard from him). He then tells me that I was the one person who supported him and wanted what's best for him and he is so sad for ruining it. I told him that if he wants a support, I'm here for him because I care for his well being but there is no romantic future. He asks if I'm seeing someone and reassures he isn't seeing anyone and that girl was out of convenience in his rock bottom. I told him it's none of his business of my life and he continued to ask me about details on my life/family. I did say that he sounded sad at one point and that I hope he finds happiness/himself. He said he was just putting things in prospective/understands my feelings/attitude towards him. He told me he would love to see me and I ended the convo with saying I could make time for coffee in 2 days. He said he would call and asked me to call him after my race. I did, he never responded nor have I heard from him.

Is this typical? Part of me thinks he is lying about the rehab but then again he did sound different. I don't understand why he would call out of the blue, middle of the night, tells me all of this and then disappears. If he is truly struggling, I don't want to turn my back on him but then again, I know he needs to get sober for himself. He said he knows this has been said before but he wants to change...but who knows.. Any advice?