Old 01-16-2017, 08:39 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
DontRemember
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by Wells View Post
heartcore - I really want to thank you for that. I like to hope I was aware of most of that but it's so nice to see the sentiment written down there so concisely and as a reminder that everything and everyone here has been pretty spot on here so far -- Why have any reason to think differently?

In the same way I made mistakes romanticizing the past thinking back, I can easily make the same mistake making assumptions about the future.

I have to also remember that, while I myself could have been a rebound, one that lasted 10 years, I knew pretty early on what type of relationship it was going to be, and I signed up for it anyway. But any relationship, short-lived or long lasting, with an addict, sure is a bumpy road.

When I broke it off, I had to finally accept the fact that she couldn't moderate and as long as alcohol was around, she could not be part of my life. She has a tough road ahead if she's trying to find a way to start over and moderate, but she is the queen of the "fresh start / clean slate" approach as you mention above so I'm afraid she's going to repeat history. For her own sake I have to hope that anyone new in her life is not as much of an enabler as I was. She needs to get better!

Thanks again so much, your post came at the right time today when I really needed to read something like that. Much appreciated.
Glad you realize this now. I was going to say "She's only 3wks sober because she's probably been dating him for 6-8wks ." The real her will show up soon enough.
I'm a recovering A and just ended my 12-14'ish(can't remember,I was drunk ) year relationship with an active A. We've been off/on for the last 6 or so years and she would ALWAYS hop directly into a new relationship. Myself,like you, would always not feel like dating. She'd come back,I'm assuming they got a view of her true self and ended things so, I was her go to/plan B. Once I got clear headed, I just couldn't take her behavior anymore! I'm sure she'll have a new guy lined up by weeks end and the 'show' will begin. Only difference this go around is I'm staying sober, working my program and there is no coming back to me. Also,like you, I hope my ex really gets the help she needs and lives a happy life,just as I intend to do myself. Take care,man!
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