I guess I'm trying to understand a bit more as to why us codies may have so much more trouble rebounding into a new relationship than the problem drinkers / alcoholics do. Everyone has a right to be happy, mind you - If she's found a path to enlightenment and a new relationship is allowing her to get better, it is a positive thing. I genuinely want her to do well. But I want me to do well, too, and I guess what I am jealous of and wrestling with today is, why she caused such turmoil, and gets to be enjoying the comfort and company of a new relationship, and here I sit, alone, lonely, having trouble even considering getting back into the fray again.
The alcoholic breaks us maybe? It makes us wary. We second guess ourselves. Once enlightened we know we have to work on ourselves to avoid becoming codependent and rinsing and repeating with someone else. We feel mentally battered down and worn out and not able to give to another relationship for much longer than our alcoholics cos they were never giving in the first place. Many are not working on themselves, and have no self awareness. They do now see the damage they caused and we allowed for so long.
I am 3 years completely out of a relationship with my exah and separated since 2009. I started dating a year ago. I am still not sure I a m completely ready and we are going VERY slow. I think it is good you are cautious. I know it's lonely tho. However you will get used to it. My boyfriend is away at the moment and, for many reasons, I am completely alone. I am quite enjoying the peace even tho I've not spoken to a single adult for over a week. I'd never have thought I'd ever enjoy my own company but I do.