Him being abused is awful and I guess that you have expended a great deal of energy worrying yourself sick over him. It's really hard to accept that you can't control how he chooses to deal with his pain. Seems that it is not uncommon for A's to have some trajic childhood. My xabf's father sort of abandoned him. It has helped me to read whatever I can about this disease. You will soon see that he is not as unique as you may now beleive. And neither are you and the role you play. You MUST take care of you.