FOB, I know exactly what you mean. And completely agree. I'm working on my "stuff". I'm thinking about what I should take from this experience. What I learned about ME. And how do I keep myself from repeating!? But I'm also working through a lot of pain. I see him at work too and I have to choke back tears.
Anyway I do have good things going on in my life. I thank my HP for giving me strength to pursue my dreams and opening new doors for me lately. And a cute guy in a car next to me did a triple take at me today. I even had the courage to smile on his third glance and he smiled back.
Then I came home and cried and talked out load to my cat about how much I hate my xabf and his STUPID DISEASE. How could someone inflict so much pain on themselves and others!? I feel sorta mildly manic.