WantsNormal

I have great news. My Girlfriend is now almost nine months sober! Praise the Lord!!!

Although there are still so many confusing moments for me.

I have supported her and been there for her. I have even periodically given her the space she needs to heal and grow in confidence. She says she loves me....and I love her. I want to move our relationship forward...and so does she. Backstory....we had an amazing relationship for 2 years followed by about 10 months off as she was raging and trying unsuccessfully to get sober.

Now nine months post treatment she is still sober but admits bravely that there naturally are rare times it is still a fight.

My worry boils down to the fact that she is only nine months sober. Is she healed enough to know her genuine feelings? Can she trust her own thoughts on our relationship? Can I trust them too?

We are pondering buying a house and having our 5 kids merge into one space. So there is a lot at stake and I just want to hear pros and cons. My major worry is that the timing is fast approaching to make this decision as she has to move out of her rented house and know whether to buy her own or buy one together. If she could continue to rent at this location (which the landlord wants to sell) it would be another year and her kids would then be settled into their new school which is 45 minutes from my kids school. So practically it is now or maybe never.

Other behaviors that are new in the sober realm but seem to be logical are that she is less playful in spirit, she has a lower libido, and definitely has agitations. Do these things keep getting better after nine months? Or is this now the new her?