Originally Posted by
Dreaming005 
Left house with girls for the night. At very supportive SILs house. Reached out to a close friend whose BIL is a divorce attorney. Separation may be the answer, even as much as I don't want it to be.
A wise SR member once posted here that when a problem seems to have no solution, that is generally not actually the case--there
is an answer, but it's one that we don't like.
Finding out what your legal options are seems like a very reasonable thing to do. It is abundantly clear that AH is not going to step up and become the person you want him to be. If there is going to be change (and boy, there sure needs to be, from what you've described),
you are going to have to be the one to bring it on, my friend.
I wished and hoped and struggled and argued and cried too. And in the end, what I never wanted to happen had to happen. I had enough of the lies. I couldn't risk losing everything I had over a drunk-driving lawsuit or a fire from a drunken cigarette. XAH and I separated, then divorced after 19 years married and 20+ together. He is still drinking, so far as I know.
Hugs, Dreaming--it is certainly not easy, but there IS a way forward if you keep taking one step at a time.