i said no!
So I'm now on day 5, last night, Friday night being a hard ingrained habit to think its acceptable to buy a drink. I obviously heard that little voice telling me its ok 'everyone does it', I went to the shop for some things for dinner and I walked straight past the alcohol, didn't look, just wanted the hell out. My close friend, someone who when we got together, the night always got very messy! It also doesn't help she is my neighbour, so often times if she was having a few drinks she would ask me to come over and if my bf was home I would go over and always come back in a state in the early hours.
Last night she was having a few drinks, and she asked me if I wanted to come over. And even though I could have gone (not wise, but hasn't stopped me before), I said no. I stopped and played out the next 12 hrs in my head.... the drinking, and its all fun at first, then it turns not so fun, then I wake up ill, the anxiety starts(what did I do, did I send messages I shouldn't, did I start and argument, did the kids see me), and then guilt etc etc. I knew I did not want that. And I said thanks, but no thanks. Woke up today so grateful for that decision, as I woke up with energy and a clear head. So I head into Saturday night, and although I admit, I want a drink, I wont. I'm using the same technique everytime I think of it.