joy7

Hi there, I just found SR a few days ago and have been trying to learn as much as I can about alcoholism, as I know very little - this is my first post!

I am in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend of one year, who is an alcoholic and has been drinking problematically for a few years now. It seems as though he was doing alright for some time (however I can't be too sure what was lies and what wasn't), but starting around last October he has really been falling apart, when he received a job offer but didn't show up because he was drinking too much.

I just really feel at a loss about what to do. The thought of breaking up with him is so painful because he is truly a wonderful guy outside of his disease. He never drinks when we are physically together, and he has never been violent towards me in any way. However, he has hurt me so much with his lies about his drinking behavior and the terrible communication when he's passed out drunk. The fact that he is slowly killing himself is what hurts me the most.

A few days ago I came home from visiting him for a couple weeks, where I found out he was in the ER two times in the span of a week. I told him that I can't stand his drinking and if he drinks after I leave, I will have to call it off. He started taking Antabuse the next day and has been taking it every day since then (to my knowledge). However, after I got home the communication is still terrible, just like before when he was drinking so I can only guess as to what's going on. Long distance just seems so impossible combined with drinking. I really don't want to break up with him because we both love each other a lot (at least he loves me in the ****** way an alcoholic is capable of) and when we are together everything is fine. Nonetheless, his drinking behavior hurts me and I just can't figure out whether I should leave.