that's so good you didn't drink! we have similar stories being mothers depending on the wine at night, and recognizing we need to do this for our kids,because they don't deserve this. I have 2 myself and like you convinced myself in any way I could that I wasn't as bad as (...) because I didn't (......),But the reality is we drink too much and my kids if they ever needed me to get them to a hospital or anything, no matter how functioning and loving I might be, I couldn't get them to hospital and possibly endanger them. Its such a gut wrenching feeling when you realise this is the brutal truth, the guilt and shame is sickening. I'm glad youre here and today you didn't drink, that's one day down, I'm so happy to see you here and also making the right choice and going the right way. And I fully believe you wont drink today either!