I hear you.
I've been sober six years and that voice and feeling still scares me, although I rarely have them now.
I just play the tape through and know exactly where I will end up if I succumb.
Congratulations on twenty one days. I take it one day at a time and you did the correct thing, and believe me, I know how hard it is in those first days.
Let that voice scream. Let it scare you. Let it even feel like love. But know, you never have to drink again.
You deserve a pat on the back. You did great.