Hi, sodevestated....I am going to type fast, so that I don't lose this post!..lol...
Mostly, I want to remind you that your grief will not last forever....and, certainly not for a lifetime. The thing is...when you are in the worst p art...especially in the early weeks....it FEELS like it won't come to an end.
I think that people need frequently reminding of this fact when they are feeling so bad that they don't see the end of the road, yet.....
Remind yourself, every day, that this is not going to last forever.....
It is understand able that you would feel anger about the "lies" and the betrayal that you feel....You have been very, very hurt...and it is normal to feel anger when others have hurt us!!
You will process through a kalediscope of different emotions over the next several weeks.....All normal and necessary for the healing.
Actually, grief is the beginning of the healing process......
I hope you will continue to practice the wailing wall exercises...whenever, and wherever you get a chance It helps to externalize the anger....
I'll bet you can already begin to see small changes in Aaron...?
You have so much of life in front of you.......