Sometimes I think that this is the way the AV works. Used to get me all upset about "not being able to go to sleep". Lying there building up "anxiety". "How can I make it happen?" Instead of waiting for Mother Nature in the old days i used to reach for something, like NyQuil, or Brandy, or a pill or whatever. Been there, done that! And if it manages to work for an hour or two I might wake up at 2 a.m. and do it again. As my addiction progressed I might have to do it again even later. The slippery slope. The neurology is obvious. The body tries to "cope" with the substance and the result is growing tolerance. So to overcome that you have to have more and eventually you get to the point where you take it just to feel "normal", to avoid "withdrawal". You've got a shovel and you're busily digging yourself down deeper. You drink to stay "normal" and as time goes on you fear withdrawal more and more, as you certainly should. But you continue- madness!
Good for you for resisting your AV.
W.