I don't know your wife, of course, but judging from what you wrote here and elsewhere, I would wager that she doesn't want to have to deal with the uncertainty of another child/patient in the house "relapsing" all the time, and wants you to support her and the family instead, as husbands and fathers should naturally want to do.
It doesn't sound like she divorced you yet, so it's possible that you can salvage the situation, if you stop playing the role of "patient" in the family, with your wife playing the role of nurse, and adopt the role of father instead. I agree with Scott's assessment that this probably isn't just a bad habit, since it is completely clouding your views, and your judgement.
I also agree with the grenade analogy. You can either fight for yourself, and for your family, or let the grenade explode, and eventually destroy everything. I know this probably stings, but this is not "tough love" or "denial busting" on my part. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we are not merely victims of circumstances, and that we do have some responsibility.
If you really cannot imagine a life without your wife and family, then prove it, and fight for them. Stand up, and get that one single idiocy - drinking - completely out of your life. It may take your wife some time to trust you again, but letting her know that you are finally done with drinking, as you originally promised, and are willing to support her, would be a good start.
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I am a wife who left after many years of marriage and him saying he did not have a problem.
At times he hid it pretty well, and I wanted to believe him. When I got ready to leave, he said he would quit- without AA and without throwing out the booze. He wanted to save it for entertaining guests, he said. yea right.
It has been a long time since my AH has supported me, been dependable, been an adult. You are right- I played the nurse. I researched alcoholism and I did not want to deal with relapses or the rest of it. I had been in too much pain for too long and I was fed up.
I did hold out a little hope after I left. If I had been treated with kindness, respect, love , and understanding, I would have returned to counselling with him. But I guess if you have just quit drinking, it is hard to summon up those qualities. So maybe I was expecting way too much.
But I want a good relationship now and being in that marriage was damaging for me. I am much happier and have peace now.