Originally Posted by
vulturine 
Uh, I don't really leave jobs gracefully. I basically trashed the office and walked out on a shift for my first job. Sent a bunch of random keystroke emails to my advisor in uni. Now I have this current boss. I just want him to say I'm on extended sick leave and my position was filled. That's it.
You have got to be kidding me. I hate to say this, but I don't really think you're in a position to dictate what you'd like him to say. Maybe start with a very sincere apology but also tell him you understand if he decides not to play ball in giving you the reference you desire.