i went to a meeting earlier and identified as a newcomer again...
This is the only time I've ever been truly suicidal. I'm not telling anyone except you guys. I cannot worry anyone any more than I already have.
I can't do this. I can't rebuild. It's too hard. I don't want to use but I definitely do not want to be on this earth a minute longer.
Don't do what I did. If you're thinking about it, don't. It's still not fun.