Going onto a podium to speak? Really? Well, I've never seen that at a meeting. Are you talking AA here? Or an diffrent kind of meeting?
In all the different AA meetings I've ever been to, nobody has to talk if they don't want. You can just say 'pass'. Unless you've agreed to be the main share of course, but that would be pre-arranged and would happen later into sobriety. Could you just say 'pass' next time?
Are there some different meetings locally that you could use instead of the podium one.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB