I wanted to empower myself which is the reason for the 6 am visit to his storage unit. But the fact is that I physically cannot move 4 of the items alone and two of the items are too heavy even for a girlfreind to help me move. (very large dresser, and a chop saw on this huge bench) If it weren't for those two extremely heavy objects it would be done by now. I would leave the stuff outside the storage unit and a note on his door. Now I have decided on giving a date. Atleast most of it is outta sight.
Dakoda,
about the letter to the unborn child. Well I can totally imagine my A doing something like that. He can get so extremely emotional. Self depricating. Calling himself a loser and wanting to kill himself. Or sometimes he would just say he was going to kidnap his son and move to Kansas or something. I have found poems that he has written about death and depression. These are seriously sick men right? And for some reason I found this depth attractive. On the flip side he would proclaim his love for me with the same intensity.
I am an emotional person. I am also a very creative person drawn to the counter culture and artists who express unique viewpoints. This is part of why I found him so intoxicating. I first fell for him because I connected with him emotionally. He quoted literature and introduced me to beautiful but anguishing music. I saw him as a creative tortured soul that I guess I thought maybe I could save or something. Maybe because I too wish to be saved.
OK OK this is getting way to intense for a Sunday. You might all think "save it for your therapist honey".