Right now I am in the process of gathering it all up and stacking it neatly into one corner of my garage. This is helping me. This way I can make that call. That he needs to have it removed by a certain date so that I can not only truly heal but have my garage back for my car!
While doing this I went through a box of his and found some old letters from his wife. Yeah it was morally wrong but it was there and it's my house. Actually the letters proved to me two things. That they have had a rough time from the begining, arguing and breaking up. And secondly that her love for him was as desperate as mine. All the women in his life have tried to battle the disease. This is his second marriage, second divorce. Not only that, but he had another child with another woman when he was 18 that he gave up for adoption. Time to stop blaming myself even partially for his demise. What are all of these women doing throwing down their lives for this sick person? It's really time for me to forgive myself and know that I am not the homewrecker that she accuses me of. He and his stupid disease are. I am not his soul mate but yet another passenger on his trip to NOWHERE! I should feel lucky that I can hop off. But you guys all know how frustrating it is. I still always had this little bit of hope that maybe we really loved one another and the alcohol was a seperate issue. But even if that is the case. Well the alcohol should be enough of an issue!
BTW the box also contained a bunch of DUI stuff (rolling eyes).