Originally Posted by
Precious64 
Thank-you Red....I believe you are correct. Forced Sobriety won't work...
I literally do not know who I am.or how to live a normal happy life....I always have felt like "I'm on the outside looking in on life going on around me"....I've been this way my entire life...I believe that is what sent my husband to look elsewhere as he did....
I want to know what it's like to just have a sense of peace and happiness within myself.....Before I leave this earth......At my age....I'm believing I am only going to find those feelings maybe in another life.....If there is one to believe in... That is
Finding that sense of peace and happiness inside oneself can be an illusive thing. We want to have it inside ourselves, yet we keep looking to the outside world to provide it. For me, the hard truth of the matter is that I don't have what lots of other people have. I don't have that internal peace and happiness and that small still voice that says all will be well. It's not there. And I've never had it. That being said, I've learned to live with it. To keep my expectations low. To know that even tho I don't feel the way I'd like to, I still have a life to live and short of doing something insane, I need to be able to live it. Nothing I've ever tried has worked. Not alcohol, not drugs, not anti depressants, not food or sex or money. But I don't give up. I keep going and try to make the world a little better place for those I come into contact with each day. I know this probably doesn't help much, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone in that one area.