SoDev - glad you worked on doing that exercise! Feelings are powerful, and can quickly take over our mind and our being if we let them. That is why we have to get them out and keep them under OUR control. Put them in their rightful place. Keep doing that as they come along.
Our loved ones passing is a very real possibility for any of us who love an addict. The addict knows the real possibility too, but often continue to use anyways. I do not believe their use is directed at us or, rather, their desire/drive to keep using takes the place of them caring about how we are affected. I think the greatest battle is that they reach a point they feel they can't stop (be it because of physical withdrawals or whatever reason) and they feel immense guilt for the pain they cause their loved one(s) as a result of their using. I hope I am making sense. What I am trying to say is... If given the opportunity I think all of our loved ones who are addicts would wants to express to us how sorry they are for the pain and how the pain caused to us was never an intention of their use. It just happened to be a BIG side effect that they did not realize would be caused whenever they first chose to use. They used, likely, to ease a pain they were feeling of some sort - emotional or physical. The addiction grew unintentionally from there. It is separate from their love for us, I truly believe.
I hope my rambling helps somewhat. It helps me to remind myself of this...