Thank you for sharing Precious.. I feel sad for you but know that things can get better.. Remember within yourself all the good things about who you are.. Look back to why you started drinking, address this issue, maybe it will get you on your path of sobriety & happiness together, forced sobriety because someone is keeping tabs on you doesnt work, ive been there before, i hated the person for it..
I truly hope you can find your way.. Just remember, we are here to support you, you arent alone...