So far I haven't been sleeping much but that's to be expected.
For the past 12 years I have been a heavy drinker, the past 5 practically daily. My friends are all heavy drinkers as well, which is why i thought this forum may be a good place. My BF can also be a heavy drinker at times, but unlike me he can also enjoy nights off or just 1 or 2 beers. I open a bottle of wine and damnit i'm finishing it....and just one bottle is a good night.
I would say my MAJOR motivation is my health. I've been telling myself for years that i'm too young for any
serious problems, but to be honest I know that's not true and simply a reassuring lie i keep telling myself.
Another major motivation for me is my future – ambition wise. I feel like i've been self sabotaging myself for over a decade. It's like i'm completely misrepresenting myself either through words or actions when i'm drunk or hungover....Constantly giving 20% if that...and so I drink again to forget that fact.
I constantly see this inspirational post online " She designed the life she loved" and it makes me sad cause I truly believe if I don't stop it'll read "She drank the life she hated".
I simply don't want to waste my talent and time on this earth.
I guess that's all.
Thanks for taking the time to read
