I'm not labeling the comments about your shirt as "controlling"--mainly because you've never mentioned that he has a habit of controlling you. My guess is that it's just plain insecurity. He knows how effed up everything is right now, not to mention the eyes and ankles, and he's feeling momentarily worthless. If he stays sober and works his program that will pass. It will take a while. These little bouts of self-pity are likely to happen from time to time. Heck, non-alcoholics can indulge in pity-parties too. It's just that he doesn't yet have the tools to deal with them (or, rather, he's got the tools but doesn't yet know how to use them).
Keep maintaining those healthy boundaries, and don't worry--you don't need to be perfect. We all--alcoholics included--have to learn to self-correct when we get off track.