I agree with you Dandylion, it's no good idea to live alone in the apartment. It could make the depression worse. Also me and my AH spent some time in that apartment before he died and the memories hurt cuz he's gone. He's kind of there in the apartment and at the same time he isn't. Excruciating, painful. He even died there in the bedroom.
I'll see if it's going to be possible to stay with my MIL, or having her or me coming over to eachother often.
It's good to move back to the city though because all support groups are there.
Thank you as always for being there for me Dandylion