I was on the verge of losing everything as well, so as afraid as I was of life
without the emotional cushion of alcohol, what it was costing me finally was too much.
What I'm hearing from your post is that there is quite a bit of pain and conflict
in your marriage at the moment--maybe that's what triggered the acceleration
with the drinking in the first place?
I'm glad you are here--you can feel better, get better, and find your way out of this.
Keep posting--you are in exactly the right place with people who have been
there too