Unwound

So today's my first big test of how well I'm really going to be at this: I'm going back to work today after the holiday. I started being sober on the first day of my holiday (I had been planning to drink through most of it and suddenly realised this would probably kill me).

So far I've managed mostly on my own and on this forum for 2 weeks and 2 days: I'm worried I may not get to three weeks but will see. Not sure how I'm going to cope when my stress get's pushed right back up and particularly part of my habit was drinking after getting home from work.

I'm concerned I will snap back into my normal routine and lose all the progress I have made with the added knowledge of just how bad this problem has got and will get.

Yesterday I went to my first "AA" meeting, was more stressful than I expected, much more difficult to talk in front of people and the meeting was quite hard to follow. I think the main speaker had not prepared or did not expect to speak and gave a rambling talk about their family problems that didn't seem to link to anything they were said they were addressing at the start. I got a couple of phone numbers of people and they were welcoming, I don't know what else I expected really.

Hopefully I will post later today or tomorrow when I get through today, then the next big hurdle will be making it through Friday evening (another trigger). If I don't post it probably means I failed and am to embaressed to come back on. If that happens I hope I get another try.